In late 2023, Alexandra, a 66-year-old retired woman in D.C., was defrosting a piece of human feces that she purchased over the internet. Her goal was to reduce the stool into a sloshy, biologically rich mixture, which could then be easily transferred past her rectum and into her colon. HumanMicrobes, the mysterious and legally questionable website that Alexandra purchased the poop from, recommended a turkey baster for the job. Alexandra opted for an enema bottle.
After exhausting all of her options in the traditional American medical apparatus, Alexandra decided to take matters into her own hands. She abandoned her conventional doctors and looked for answers elsewhere. She started seeing two experts in functional medicine, a form of holistic, alternative, and occasionally less scientific treatment. When she described her symptoms to them, they gave their blessing to seek out a “fecal microbiota transplant,” or FMT.
“It’s the only near-complete treatment that restores the microbiome,” he told me. “It’s the endgame.” Naturally, doctors firmly reject Harrop’s operation. “Not a good idea. Terrible, terrible idea,” said Khanna. “We don’t understand if it’ll work, or if there will be adverse effects. And it’s against FDA regulations.” Osman, meanwhile, compares the pitfalls of a poorly screened, improperly stored FMT to something akin to a faulty blood transfusion. A DIY stool transfer increases your risk of infection and disease, he said.